It's a state of bliss. Joy which has no bounds. happiness which is experienced every moment every day. Tiredness which feels so natural and so worthy.
But it didn't come as naturally to me. I went through a lot to experience this eternal peace. After having a miscarriage in July 2019, I was so unsure of everything. I was so hopeless and devastated. I wanted to conceive so badly but doctor cautioned us against this for at least 5 months. My body wasn't ready.
These 5 months passed and I conceived again in January 2020. I did the UPT AT 4 in the morning on 29th January. I was overwhelmed on the appearance of those 2 pink lines. Me and my husband hugged each other and cried our heart out. We were so happy. We took a day off by calling in sick.
Our doctor cautioned us for not telling this to anyone because of my past horror story. We didn't oblige because we knew this will stay. our families' happiness knew no bounds, they were as ecstatic as us.
When we first heard our baby's heart beat in 8 weeks ultrasound we were flabbergasted.
It was such a pure feeling to experience another life within my body.
First three months were very difficult because I was severely nauseated all the time. Puking on just smelling tea (which supposedly is till date my favourite beverage), puking on seeing anything dirty, puking at the sight of rotten apple, puking on some foul smell Puking, puking and some more puking.
It was so difficult to explain anybody that why I was so against using deodorant in house. Why I can't make karari rotis (that smell sucked). But I had a rock besides me- my husband (my best friend, my love, my soulmate), who took care of every single thing.
I am a banker by profession and because of government's guidelines I got work from home for my entire pregnancy duration.
It was not as easy as it sounds but I still managed as long as my baby was safe.
In the month of April, I came to know that a girl in my adjoining apartment was also pregnant and our due date was just a week apart from each other.
We both share same name and same initials.
We became friends in no time. We used to walk every day and talk for hours. We had a lot to discuss as we shared common concerns.
Very soon we became best of friends.
We used to cook dishes for each other to nullify Corona effect. she took great care of everything. she was and still is available whenever I want her.
We started consulting same gynaecologist.
We scheduled our gynaecologist appointments in such a way that we get to go together.
Everything was going super awesome until one day i.e., on 11 June, on my regular check-up my gynae declared I was having contractions (indication of labour). It was too early.
I was put on complete bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy.
I was asked to lay in a 60 degrees position.
Several cushions and pillows were placed underneath my lower half. I was asked to strictly adhere to my bed rest. My gynae said that there are only 30 percent chances of delivery. I was devastated, yet again. I was broke. I cried unconsolably in doctors cabin itself. I cried because it was so difficult for me and a cake walk for others.
But I am innately a very lively person who just can't be sad for long, who doesn't shy away from crying but one who can't keep crying. I don't want to sound boastful but I find light even in the darkest situation.
So here I was struggling to pick up the broken parts.
I ordered fevicryl clay set and made beautiful flowers sitting on my bed.
I started doing sudoku.
I kept myself involved in various things.
I was still hopeful.
I knew that I'll get through this.
My mother and mother in law took care of me during this entire bed rest duration.
There were days when I opened my selfie camera and felt like a zombie. I felt so ugly, but then there was someone who made me feel so beautiful. I regained my confidence. What else can I ask from life.??
I have a wonderful husband, supporting family and sister from another mother (my new best friend).
Months passed with my life blossoming inside me. Those little kicks and punches just made me kept going. It certainly is the most beautiful feeling.
Finally 8 Months of my pregnancy passed and now me as well as my gynaecologist were certain that the worst is over. I was relieved of my bed rest. I got my maternity shoot done from Deys Photography and even had a beautiful baby shower function in the 9th month.
Finally, I got my first contraction on 23rd night, but I was uncertain if it really was labour pain. Hence we rushed to hospital early Morning on 24th and my gynae confirmed I was indeed 2cm dilated. I was asked to get admitted on the night of 24th. Fortunately me and my friend got the same date of admission. We were induced with labour injections. Labour pain was unbearable. It came in waves. Barely does one wave subside, then a fresh one hits.
On 25th morning around 11 am I was 10cm dilated and was taken to labour room for normal delivery but because of some last-minute complication Dr. Decided for c-sec. At 1:41 pm I gave birth to an angel. I wasn't able to cry. I was so happy that I was breathing heavily. I called my husband from OT only. We were happy beyond words.
After few hours of observation, I met my husband. We wept. Half in relief, half in joy.
This is the most beautiful and most important chapter of my life. This is the joy I experience every day. These shinning eyes, little steps. A new addition in my everyday prayer.
All the best to all the mothers for experiencing the most serene feeling of life.